This bitter earth.

People are strange. Usually creatures of habit...mostly, they stick to their comfort zones. Those few spontaneous ones...the risk takers, the rebels; those are the ones I tend to gravitate towards. I am myself, a self-proclaimed wild child. Though I'm more subdued these days, I still have that fire inside, that urge to get up and go. I think that's why monotony bores me. Not to say that I can't maintain relationships, or remain in one place for a while...despite the fact that my track record may relay a different story, I can. Things in those relationships just need to be fun, and interesting.

It's funny to me how other people do things, you know they're not happy with. How they'll just settle for the situation they're in. To me, that kind of life will never be satisfying. I feel for those people. Those who convince themselves they can live that way, or with people they despise.
I did far too much settling, and convincing in my life. With significant others as well as platonic relationships. I'm finished with that. There's things I want to do, and places I wanna go that I've put off for years for the sake of someone else's happiness. Not anymore.

I just wish everyone could make that change in their lives, because you've only got this one shot at it, and it would be a damn shame to waste it.

Fool me once shame on you...Fool me twice, fuck you.

The boy is finally moved out of the crapartment. It's such a melancholy ending to this situation that was not always so tumultuous. We had a multitude of good times there. But it was just a series of unfortunate events that have led us to this point. It is the end of a chapter in life, mostly his...as he was clearly affected the most in this debacle.

I am so glad to have the weekend here, even though my saturday is shot with having to attend a glorious back yard wedding like an hour away. I'm sure we'll manage to make the best of it and fabricate out own good time.

Enjoy your weekend all!!

I like me.

The people in my life, and the relationships that I make...are extremely important to me.
I am a giver by nature. I love for my friends and loved ones to be happy, and I'll do anything within my capabilities to build onto their blissfulness.
But I wonder, does this make me more vulnerable to heartbreak and disappointment?
Maybe. I don't think that means I should change who I am though. I didn't always believe that. There was a time, however, I felt that might be a necessary modification to my personality.
As I've gotten older (not much!), I have become comfortable enough with myself and amply confident in who I am, where I'm going in life, and what I want out of it as well. This helps me maintain this trait and I am so glad it does. =)

Ants in my pants!

Ooohhh the more I see on msnbc, cnn, c-span...the more I feel like I can't get through school fast enough. Knowing all the things I know about disappearing wetlands, deforestation, displaced wildlife gives me more motivation than anything or anyone else.
It's utterly mind boggling to me that I hadn't figured out earlier that it was so clear what I should be doing. I kinda want to punch myself in the head. =)

So as long as the world doesn't end in 2012...ya know, in account of the zombie apocalypse...I will be actively pursuing my education to make a difference in our environment, and be a voice for nature and wildlife.

Unless it's a matter of the heart.

I'm different from other girls. I don't need flowers, or candy, or jewelery. I've never needed that. I think what means more to me are your words, and the way you look at me, and how you touch me. Romance to me, isn't an expensive dinner with fancy drinks...it's just not some over the top act.
It's someone offering to help and support me; or telling me I'm making a wrong decision. That honesty...that's what I want. Because being that honest takes guts.
I'm stubborn, and persistant and I need someone who can calm me down, and clear my vision when it's blinded by my hard headed-ness.
I want someone to challenge me, and themselves. Someone who is just as thirsty for knowledge and driven to make the most of this life as I am.
I've missed out on alot in my life...I have so many things to see and do. I really can't wait to start. =)

Until you get put on the endangered species list.

Some of you may not agree with the aggressive manor that the Sea Shepherds of the Steve Irwin, Bob Barker, and Ady Gill use in attempt to eradicate illegal Japanese whaling.

But I believe their cause and their mission is brave and necessary. Whales are amazing, beautiful creatures, and in 1966 it became illegal to hunt them. Most nations respected this ban besides the Soviet Union, who continued to hunt them until the 1970's. Now, it's only the Japanese (who claim to be legally killing and collecting for "research").
Humpback whales have been marked for extinction from planet Earth. The Japanese quota for this years hunt? 50 Humpback whales.
The destruction of their habitat is also to blame for their perilous situation. Humpback's migrate from Mexico, Hawaii, and Japan to Alaska's Glacier Bay to feed on krill during the summer. This bay receives runoff from the Tongass Forest, and as long as it was a protected wilderness area the bay was safe. That was until 2003, when the Healthy Forest Initiative opened 9 million acres of this forest to logging. Now this bay is at risk of runoff that contains sediments and nitrates from logging that can kill the krill.

Currently there are somewhere between 30,000 - 40,000 whales left in the entire world. This is approximately 1/3 the number of whales that originally roamed the seven seas.

I don't want to make it all about the whales though...there are far too many creatures that your children, and grandchildren may not ever know. The immensity of it overwhelms me, and I just don't know how I've gotten this far in life without deciding to make wildlife conservation my life's work. I mean, the most meaningful tattoo I have is the World Wildlife Fund logo...it only makes sense. Feel free to browse the list of endangered species for yourself. It's incredibly disheartening to see, and know there's little I can do at this point. Hopefully I remain focused on my goal, as far as my education is concerned, and can one day do my part in the struggle to conserve so many of this planet's most important natural places these creatures call home.

You say tomato, I say Baja Blast.

So I was convinced into trying a Baja Blast Mountain Dew today...and even though I kinda thought it tastes like windex I still continue to drink it.

Moving along, so I had a lovely stroll through the forest. The dogs had a good romp and had fun smelling nature. Good times.

I'm looking forward to pay day tomorrow...as well as going on a date with my super rad boyfriend. I'm gonna be his sugar mama tomorrow night. ;)
Hopefully this weekend will be filled with lots of friends and good times.

In other news, I'm pretty sure that pot smokers are among the most generous demographics of people I've ever met. They will bum you their last smoke, share their last bit of resin...even use the last dollar in their pocket to get you some munchies. They really are some peaceful, zen-like mother fuckers. ...Why is weed illegal again?


Well...I plan to start being more active in life now that I am once again receiving regular paychecks. Then, I foresee being able to present you with much more worth-while blogs.
I am so regretful I have nothing intelligent, nor interesting for today...or yesterday for that matter.

Aside from the fact that I couldn't be happier that our Chicago Blackhawks are the 2010 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!!!

Til tomorrow...

The search for something more.

To be honest, how someone else views you or your actions should never weigh heavy on your mind. If you believe the way you are living your life is virtuous there is no reason for worry. Otherwise, reevaluate your situation. See if there is any room for improvement and make the necessary adjustments.

I've recently taken the time to assess my own life. There were a few things that needed some fine tuning. As a result, I feel much more at ease and - go figure -happy. I will be the first to admit I haven't always been the most compassionate and kind human being. I've been snarky, and bitter...and sometimes down right ruthlessly cruel. And maybe a few years ago I would've told you I didn't care...but right now I can't say that I feel good about the person I chose to be in the past.

I hope that the differences are noticeable, and that those who remain in my life as well as the people I meet in the future will benefit from the revamped version of Christine.

As much as I enjoy nice weather, I almost can't wait until the fall. Waiting to go back to school almost feels like Christmas morning as a kid. Someone remind me to come back and read this when I start complaining about midterms eventually.

Side note - Had a great time last night watching the game. Thanks guys.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hit with a wine bottle.

Here's the thing...I'm not a low life. I do not have any inclination with affiliating myself with such people either. I do not want to be the 50 year old drunk woman choking people and getting in people's faces, screaming and looking undeniably ridiculous. I do not want to be the "fiance" shacking up in the basement feeling as if that fact gives me some sort of prominence. These occurrences simply solidify the fact that alcohol is the least of my priorities, and is not essential to my well-being.

It is the furthest thing from a necessity at this point in my life to subject myself to an environment that breeds this type of behavior. While it may be poignant and formidable to do so, as this wasn't always the case, sometimes extracting yourself from an obviously virulent situation is the only way to move on with your life.

Amidst the melancholy and the tribulation, there is something inside me that feels tranquility and revitalization.

Here's to moving on and to my future endeavors. Let's hope it's clear skies ahead.

Toxic America

So I don't really wanna bug out all you expectant mothers or those trying to have kids.....but apparently, babies are born with over 200 chemicals in there bodies. They've done research on cord blood from 10 babies born over the last year. Most commonly was a chemical called BPA, bisphenol. It is used in making plastics. Other chemicals found include TBBPA (used in making flame retardants), Galoxolide and Tonalide used in common cosmetics and detergents, and PFBA or C4 used in Teflon.

As far as the BPA is concerned...on top of the amount they are already born with in their systems, they are just going to ingest more from drinking from bottles, and sucking on pacifiers.

How can we avoid this? Well...it's difficult to say. Everything is chemicals. Trace amounts of chemicals, which may or may not lead to cancer...of course they never have enough proof or enough conclusive date to 100% say whether or not we are at risk, cannot be avoided.

Alot of this falls on the EPA. Who's job it is to test chemicals and make sure they are safe. Although the previous law on chemicals was grandfathered in and included 60,000 chemicals (they're up to 80,000 now). So maybe it's time for them to go back and recheck some of them. And this may take some time. What they may need is for companies wanting to bring in new chemicals pay for the EPA to test the chemicals they are wanting to use. People will be more apt to buy products tested and approved by the EPA I think.

Another problem that they're coming up with now is finding cadmium in many different children's jewlery. For more information on cadmium, just click the link I've included. These products are being shipped in from China.

As far as food...buying organic is always going to your best bet and regardless always wash your produce. Try and buy meats with the least amount of antibiotics and growth hormones.

When it comes to cookware...cast iron and stainless steal can replace your Teflon coated non stick pots and pans. For leftovers, rather than saving them in reusable plastic containers, use glass containers.

Worried about the air in your home? A house plant can eliminate up to 90% of the chemicals in the air.

I don't want to dwell too much on these sorts of things, because it'll make you crazy and insane, but when you can...avoid some of these things if it's feasible.

=)

Before I kick the bucket...

Here's the things I am hoping to get to do before my time on this incredible journey we call life comes to and end.
Feel free to make your own bucket lists, and post them as a comment or send them to me via email and I will post them as my next blog. Email to easybreezey0117@yahoo.com

1. Complete my college education.

2. Marry someone who is ambitious, intelligent, creative, motivated, spontaneous...and most of all...loves me.

3. See the Grand Canyon.

4. Visit all 50 states.

5. Travel abroad. Especially, Ireland, Australia, Italy, and Egypt.

6. See the aurora borealis

7. See Niagra Falls

8. Learn ASL (American Sign Language)

9. Learn another spoken language.

10. Learn to play the guitar.

11. Learn how to deer hunt on my own.

12. See the rainforest.

13. See the Galapagos Islands.

14. Visit a volcano

15. Become the absolute best possible person I can be.


This is just a start...The great thing about this blog, is the EDIT option. I can come back and add, check off, delete...whenever I'd like. There are lots of sites dedicated strictly to these "bucket lists", but I already have this blog keeping a record of my life, so it only seems fitting to keep everything I document on myself together in one easy accessable spot.

I just feel inspired today. Like, even if I have to do it alone...well, besides the getting married part...I can get these things done.

But seriously, let's get our education on.

Alright people, level with me..So they fucked up. Diamond saw is broken. The giant ass shears are too jagged, so the cap will need to be modified. Fail. The oil is spreading. 37% of the gulf is off limits to fishing. Shrimp, oysters, blue fin tuna, a third of their habitat is in jeopardy. And it will hit Florida TODAY.

The marshes are silent. There are no birds, no bugs...nothing. There's nothing they can even do about it. The oil has been there for several weeks, and everything is just dieing off.

No matter what BP says they're doing to clean it up, more and more of it is spewing into the ocean, and into the gulf, making it's way to the coast lines.

New areas are threatened every single day, every single hour for that matter. There is no plan of action right now...there is nothing that is set and in motion to try and finally put an end to this catastrophe.
Some of the fishermen that have begun attempting to clean this up on their own, due to BP's lack of assistance, are getting sick from the oil fumes. BP CEOs have tried to say it's not from the oil...maybe something they ate. Wow. Really?

As far as discontinuing off shore drilling, this won't happen quite yet. Not all off shore drilling sites are in as bad of shape as the BP site was. We just need to have them well inspected and make sure everything is in good shape, and safe. If not, fix them and make them better.

Last time I checked, the estimated rate at which oil is invading the gulf it was 1.1 million gallons a day. That translates to 26,500 barrels a day. We are currently on DAY 45. That's half way to the amount of the Ixtoc oil spill, and that lasted months.

This may not directly effect any of you right now, but it will. Currently, it has effected my family already. They live in Florida, which is not a very wealthy state. They rely hugely on their tourism which is already taken a giant hit. Reservations for many hotels along the Gulf coast have been and are continuing to be cancelled.

This will end up being a trickle down affect. It may be a dog eat dog world when it comes to certain things, but not when it comes to the sustainability of the resources we all consume and require to live. if anyone has any questions or garbage claims you'd like me to refute or if there's anything I've left out...let me know. I'm just so frazzled right now with the idea of people's misconceptions and theories that this has no bearing on the rest of the world other than those along the gulf coast.

I really, really dislike the fact that I am such an indecisive person.

The one thing I have decided on for sure...is that I am going back to school. To start, I will be going to get my AS in Science. I'm already one semester through. Thankfully the courses I took previously all count towards this degree. Then, I'm hoping to go for my bachelor's in Biology at Governors State. After that comes the tricky part. Do I want to do: A. the master's program at IIT for Environmental Sustainability, B. Remain at Governors State and get my masters there as well in environmental science, C. The masters program at DePaul for Ecology and Evolution, D. the masters program at UIC for Anthropology, or E. the Environmental Science masters program at UIC????

Oooor, OR should I just shut up, focus on getting through my bachelor's in Biology because I know I definitely want it...and figure the rest out later?? I don't know! I just know I like to have a goal in mind because it seems to make it easier to get through. Like, that light at the end of the pitch black, never-ending tunnel...ya know?

Anyway, if anyone reads this...thought, comments, opinions...all are welcome, and appreciated.

Oh, and one more thing...Go Hawks! Game 3 tonight!

When ticks attack!

Friday was tons of fun :) Although somehow I ended up black-out drunk. I think I shall blame Colleen and Kristina for that due to the overwhelming amount of grape bombs.
Either way, still an awesome time.
Saturday morning woke up, not sure how or when we ended up in bed, and Josh decided we should just high tail it on outta this town and go down to his uncle's place.
The drive down went by super fast. I took a nap once we got there because I had a never ending friggin hang over that day.
Sunday we spent a couple hours on a fishing boat, which was great for me. Lots of sun and not alot of bugs and some hang time with that boy I like.
Monday just chilled and watched the Hawks, and some River Monsters.
Another shitty night filled with horrible nightmares. =/ I don't know what the heck is up with that. I haven't had nightmares this often and this bad in a while. It's not too fun.
Ummmm...I very badly want to be in good enough shape to wear a smiwsuit. Oh well, I'm gonna go buy one anyway...thanks mom.