Punch List

I have a bit of pent of aggression right now for various reasons, all of which are not worth discussing...rather I'm just going to hate on some random shit.

Things I want to punch in the face:

1. Precious Moments.
-I used to enjoy them, but only because my grandma collected them. So naturally my mother did as well, and I was like oh...well I guess I'll have to too...not. They're stupid, pastel, pieces of shit, wastes of money. Why in fuck would I want a bunch of those doe-eyed bullshit statues sitting around my house like I'm an 80 year old cat lady. No thank you.

2. Designer Fakes.
-Owned one, never will again. Spend the money on the real thing, or don't bother. I don't like fake people so why would I like fake Fendi? Makes no sense.

3. Hair extensions.
-Really? It's much sexier to be able to rock what you've got. I'm tired of all these fake nail'd, fake tanned, fake boobed, fake haired bitches thinking they're something. If you were, you wouldn't need fake everything.

4. Shark Week,
- I don't fucking like sharks to begin with, and because of my mother allowing me to watch Jaws as a child I have been afraid of even stepping foot into water deeper than my waist including Lake Michigan. Especially if I can't see the bottom.

5. People who cheat on their significant others.
-I'm talking all venues of cheating. Hiding things, having emotional talks with another person instead of your bf/gf, and of course physically. I see a relationship as a partnership/friendship/safe place where you can be yourself. You are supposed to let that person in, share things, have fun, and trust each other. I'm not saying you can't have time to yourself to have your own hobbies, or go out with the guys/girls once in a while. But if you're gonna cheat...give the person the common decency and let them go. Don't be a scumbag.

6. One-uppers.
-You know the person...the one where you're having a conversation and mention that this week your allergies have been terrible, and they say, "Mine too I almost died...twice."
Fuck off.

7. People who can't handle real life.
-Don't complain to me about how hard your life is when you planned on/chose to have kids, a mortgage, car payment, cable, a fancy new phone, dogs, and can't pay the bills or feed your family. Get a job, or another job, and stop drinking at the bar every night. Shut the fuck up. We all have bills.

8. People who think they're better than than everyone else.
-Excuse me, I don't know what exactly gave you that impression but you shit, piss, and breath the same as the rest of us, so get your head out of your ass.

9. The smell of popcorn...especially microwaved.
-There's something about that smell that for whatever reason I can almost equate it the smell of vomit, or farts sometimes. It's quite off putting.

10. Mosquitoes.
-Not that I feel this one needs elaboration, but they quite literally suck. Especially because they wreaked havoc upon my favorite species of bird (the crow) a while back and nearly eradicated them from existence in these parts. Lucky for me, they're making a comeback this year :)