It's not that serious...until you get fired.

SO back to the friggin' drawing board. Looking for a new job at probably the worst time possible in the history of looking for jobs. Luckily, I am a resourceful, intelligent, multi talented, highly motivated person.

Anyway, as much as it sucks to be unemployed right now it has afforded me some time to reflect on myself and my life and what I do and do not want in it and out of it.

I wasn't particularly happy or satisfied where I was...it was more or less just a paycheck, and with the line of work I am in it should be more than that. It should be rewarding and fun to go to work. That is, after all why I do what I do.

This may be my last blog in this particular blog. I may start a new one...one that is more positive and less emo-ish and pessimistic.

We'll see....wish me luck...I'm off to interview #2.

cheers.

Since I've been gone

So since I last actually, seriously blogged...I moved from Chicago to Annapolis, MD. Midwest to East Coast was quite a change, but I think a much needed one. I got a job right away...and have since been let go. Yeah, I know...sucks to suck.

To be fair, it wasn't entirely my fault, and I think it just wasn't as good of a fit for me as I had previously thought.

I only regret not looking into a few more options fuly before accepting that position.

Hopefully something will pan out from the 30+ resumes I've sent out since last Thursday.
I've got some temp work this week but nothing truly monetarily promising. For now I am going to take what I can get until the exact right thing turns up...and I'm sure it will.

My sensitive, emo soul is hard to keep in check. I am naturally emotional and easily affected by the slightest things emotionally. It is a daily battle to remind myself to let the little things go, focus on the big picture, and that it can ALWAYS be worse. I'm still working on that...

I had a birthday since I last blogged and am now living the last year of my life in my twenties.
Which, is also slightly depressing just because I know I could've done so much more with myself.

I welcomed a nephew into the world since I last blogged...Evan James on October 14th. He is beautiful, and perfect and I love him to bits.

I will get to spend 4 straight days with him in less than 72 hours. I am beyond excited.

I hope everyone has a joyous and safe holiday with their loved ones...I will blog again after Christmas!

Alright so I lied

Turns out....I broke a promise to the 2 people who probably read this....

Apologies. Lucky for you, I've just come up on some extra free time. So...this time, I promise...I will post real blogs with REAL interesting and important information. I actually can't promise the latter part of that sentence but it'd be cool if it happens on accident.

Anyway, tomorrow starts new blogging. I have to figure out what is going on with the blogger website. I've been gone so long that everythings different. Ugh. Hate that.

Long lost author returns!

I'm drunk...realized I need to blog more...reset my forgotten password...and will uphold my promise to return with new, exciting  blogs! Okay...maybe not exciting, but definetly new.

Nighty night.

How can my heart break when it wasn't even whole to start with.

I put everything I have into everything I do. Jobs, relationships...they get my all.

So why is it...that I feel I don't ever get people's "all"?

Maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe if I stop expecting it I'll get it someday. Maybe I was meant to be alone. Maybe I'm choosing the wrong people.

I just don't want to settle for anything less than what I want and deserve, and I feel like I am constantly doing that.

If you love someone....you say it. Simple as that.

Believe you can and you're halfway there.

I haven't blogged in almost 2 months...that seems wrong. I should really try for at least ONCE a month, I mean geez. It's the least I could do taking up valuable interweb space.

So let's see...I don't really have anything monumental to divulge, but we'll just go ahead and throw out what's been going on since March 27th.

April...there was rain...lot's of it. The boyfriend's birthday came and went, and we are not the same age again. I really hate those 3 months in between that I'm older. Makes me feel weird. Even though there's no reason it should.

More about the boy...he is finally opening up more and making me feel like there is a future to this relationship. We've had a lot of fun recently and it's mostly due to that fact. I find it easier to relax, be open, and comfortable with him, knowing he sees me in the distant future. We've planned a Vermont trip in July, and a trip to Minnesota for a New Years Day Bears game. =D woot! He came to Easter family dinner, as well as a family Birthday party...all within a month. I praise and glorify him. haha. He's a brave dude.

Moving on...my 20 year old sister is pregnant. Yep.

There goes the societal order of things in this family.

It was supposed to be me getting engaged, and married, and having a baby. I'm the oldest, and I just pictured things differently.

But...things are, instead...all three of my parents children in their twenties, living at home, one jobless, one pregnant, and one who feels like she still has a chance to make everyone proud of her.

Memorial day is coming up this weekend, and I'm hoping to just have a great relaxing, care free time with my man, and our friends and family.

Til next time...

We are always running for the thrill of it...

Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it.